University and the Economy

Conventional economics and common sense tell the world that a university is a costly investment on the part of either the private developer or the state, with benefits being highly uncertain and dependent upon the prevailing economic conditions. The products of the university system are worth much more in times of economic boom where they lend their consideration brain power to the upward trend, and a great hindrance in times of economic recession, due to them still demanding boom-period wages and their unwillingness to take on jobs perceived as menial and beneath their over-inflated egos. In recent years, however, the university has started to develop the capacity to generate economic activity on its own, sustained by a vibrant student population and some rather curious habits.

Two industries that have benefitted from this new phenomena are the coffee and fish industry, which we shall attempt to feature here.

Fish

Strange perhaps, that it has taken so many years for an island to catch on, but fish has finally replaced poultry as the number 1 favourite meat of university students. Indeed, fish has not only become a staple in the palette of the university student, but it has evolved into something more than a dietary preference. It is now a lifestyle. This lifestyle in turn feeds an industry on l33t demand for fish.

The study of the university effect in the fish industry cannot simply be measured by the increase in sales volume, though these statistics are startling in their own right. The flourishing of restaurant chains like Feesh and Cold reflects an increasing willingness to pay for what is readily available to the casual fisher, as well an a sharp increase in the number of people who love a Mekong catf...i mean, pacific dory on a regular basis. This sharp increase in demand has been driven by a still stranger phenomena: university students are treating one another to fish on a regular basis.

Above and beyond sales and statistics, the fish has invaded the mindset of our university students. It can be observed that fish serves to be more than just food. It has become a tool of classroom diplomacy, inter-gender interaction, stress combat, just to name a few. The impact of fish is such that it has even developed a set of its own unique vernacular amongst our student population, the most common of all being, "Fish you", which can be applied to several different situations, as an offer to treat someone to fish.

With the advent of the fish, civilisation has finally caught up in the classroom, with students learning to settle differences over a platter of our fishy friends. In the past where fistfights were the norm, our students now mediate disputes by offering to treat the offensive party to fish. In the heat of a quarrel, the calmer party would often stare at the offensive party intensely, measure him/her up, and make the peace offer, "Fish you!"

Fish has also succeeded in doing what SDU never could: bringing our young man together with our young women, by giving them a means of social interaction and engagement. Guys now like to tell their other male friends, "Hey, Ben, you know that girl sitting behind us in lecture? I really feel like I want to Fish her." What follows this is a swift and effective publicity campaign by friends to advertise the guys to the subject of their interest, often by informing them of the interest of the guy to have fish with her over dinner.

Another role that fish is playing now, though it is probably taking over the mantle from the stress-ball, is that of a tool against the stresses of student life. In times of extreme frustration, the one thing that comes to the minds of our students is, you guessed it, Fish. Where vulgarities would be common in the past, our students now go for a healthier, and more civilised method to de-stress. When the laptop breaks down for the hundred and sixty two thousand, five-hundred-and-forty-one-th time, our modern day university student takes a deep breath, thinks of what he can do to de-stress, and promptly arrives at his answer: "Fish!"

It must be to the great delight of our national leaders that our future leaders have finally gotten the hang of what it means to be a gracious and civilised society. And also to the great glee of the coffers of fishmongers and restaurants. If fish has become so pervasive in the culture of our univerisities, it will create its own demand. And the only ones who really lose out in this instance, are the poor fishes of the seas.

Coffee

The coffee industry has been revolutionalised to a much lesser extent than fish in the sense that the purpose is still the same. What has changed though, is the habits of our students in the consumption of coffee. While coffee used to be a beverage to help keep our students awake, the relationship between student and coffee has now transformed subtly. Students now stay awake, often through the night, for coffee.

This phenomena is curious for it seems that the coffees through the night do not seem to do them much good. After a good round of drinking through the night, our students often reach home puking, dizzy, drained, slightly dehydrated, and sometimes, even feeling a little weak in the knees. Worst, they do not seem to have much recollection of what happened the night before in their coffee session with friends. And curious gets curios-er: they simply go back for more of such coffee sessions the next week, despite the pain it clearly gives them each time.

Not much is known of the exact going-ons in one of these seemingly torturous sessions in the coffee joints around clarke quay, marina bay and such, but we can ascertain, from their parents, that somehow, the favourite time of the week for coffee, is Wednesday night. The university student would dress up, tell his/her parents that he/she is meeting friends for coffee to discuss about the latest project, and be gone from home, only back next morning with the above mentioned symptoms. Parents are equally clueless about the reasons for these symptoms, for it is simply inconceivable that there is coffee stronger than the coffee shop's kopi o kosong gao thatis capable of inducing such symptoms in grown young men and women. Perhaps it is the monstrosity of the projects that our students engage in, but if that were the case, then the rigour of the university syllabus would need to be re-assessed.

Nonetheless, regardless of the reasons, it is clear that the university has created its own demand for coffee.

With such strong side economic benefits, the university might just appear now to be a more profitable investment venture, and the fish and coffee industry might just serve to be forerunners in the new trend of universities becoming almost self-financing. Strange economics indeed, but with results so pervasive and effective, who's gonna argue?